Yesterday I Cried Over Spilled Milk!

I cried over spilled milk yesterday; well not literally since I don’t do dairy but figuratively I did. All day yesterday into the evening and then the wee hours of the night. I tried to sleep between bathroom trips only to wake up and worry and question life at its core or as close to the core I could get with my understanding of life. I questioned my purpose in life, my worth and the core of my existence. Does it matter or not? Why am I here? What’s the point and what’s my purpose? Yes, I agree quite a lot of questions to be answered in one night. I was trying to figure out if my life mattered or if I am a worthless piece of you know what.

I applaud anyone who doesn’t ask these questions and applaud anyone who does. I found myself in darkness not only literally but also figuratively at 4:30 am. I am in the dark; I don’t know what is real about the spiritual world and what is not. Everyday something new comes out from trusted sources, and every day I get more confused. It’s all becoming a big soup and I’m tired of allowing my energy to be used by all these different sources. Can I find peace in darkness? I don’t want to live in darkness but just want to be in peace with it’s existence. isn’t darkness the other half of light? Doesn’t a full 24 hour day consist of a harmony of light and dark periods? Is darkness really bad? Without it would we really know the meaning of light? Humanity has come a long way since the dark ages, (ha-ha no pun intended) yet even with the knowledge we practice today the answer is very easy NO. We wouldn’t know light even if we stumbled upon it with open eyes.

Darkness is the reason we seek light. Even tough our eyes get used to darkness; our habits and thoughts can be dark and negative, yet our soul seeks light. Our soul screams for love, beauty, joy and harmony. Don’t get upset with darkness, don’t get angry with darkness, don’t hate people who are working with the dark; hate is like a mushroom that grows in darkness. Even if you think you have a very good reason to hate, you are fooling yourself. When you hate you become both dark and moldy. What happens when something is moldy? It begins to rot from the inside out. Mold turns in dis-ease, it begins to eat us from the inside. The law of our world is the same for everything and every being. In fact, everything rots in darkness, especially our souls.

Did I spill milk yesterday? Yes, I did! Did I punish myself all day and all night long for doing so? Yes, I did! It was such an easy thing to do, to think negative thoughts, to blame, guilt and shame myself for spilling milk because I’m used to operating that way. I learned it from my parents. Actually, it’s not easy, it’s quite an energy drainer to blame and shame, yourself or anyone else for that matter but it is what I know how to do best. There were a few moments when I shut down, but I was quite impressed on how fast I managed to come back to reality. The milk that cannot be whipped out anymore. What’s done is done. It’s like eating a chocolate cake all by yourself, you really can’t do anything about it once you have eaten it all.

I can easily say that few months back, I would cry over the spilled milk for weeks and months on end. I would continue to punish myself with negative thoughts, shame, guilt and blame until something else happened. Today, less than 24 hours have passed, and I’ve processed it. Now, I’m taking action. This is what self-love is, well as close as I have been able to get to it all these years. Just keep on learning, and growing and recreating yourself until you love all that there is about you. Keep healing, keep following your intuition, and don’t cry over spilled milk, learn how to not spill it and how to protect it. I seek to be in peace with darkness and thrive in the light. If someone, can follow my foot steps to find their own light, I am honored my path has guided you. I can’t say I don’t fear darkness, I can say I focus on what I desire more then what I don’t. What about you? How long do you cry over spilled milk? For a private hands-on energy healing session contact me, you are worth it.